As Chitimacha legends continue to be passed down from generation to generation, children learn and understand them through a new lens that comes with fresh ideas applicable to their environment. The Chitimacha reservation is on land that our ancestors walked on and many of these stories relate to a landspape that exists today. The Chitimacha Tribal School students designed the Water Legends Mural Project. All eighty-six student of the school reviewed a selection of Chitimacha legends pertaining to water and developed a personal meaning which they visually articulated through drawings. I then painted a wall mural, 10 feet by twenty-eight feet, based on these drawings

All photos: Courtesy Sarah Sense @ www.sarahsense.com

We first posted about the Lone Ranger remake featuring Johnny Depp as Tonto a few months back. Then we quickly dismissed the subject because it is completely ludicrous specifically because it’s a waste of money to make a film based off this series, and we figured Bruckheimer would realize that, and drop this idea. Well it seems he hasn’t and now Indian country, and those of us smart enough to comment on what goes on in Indian country, are up in arms about it. Not so much because the television series is being remade as a film, but because Depp is evidently not Indian enough to play Tonto. Accusations, condemnations, and rationalizations can be found here: Johnny and Tonto Fistfight in Hollywood and here: Redefining Tonto.

Really?!

I’m always skeptical of those who believe they have the right to determine (by whatever methods) the identity of others. Depp has never, NOT ever, denied his Cherokee heritage. In fact, he has always been vocal about it, and many young Native actors look up to him, not so much as a fellow Native actor, but as a fine example of how to navigate the Hollywood mainstream when you yourself don’t look all that mainstream. How could he? He looks like what he partly is – Eastern Band Cherokee! Put him together with Wes Studi (not Eastern Band Cherokee).  Focus on the eyes, the cheekbones, the mouth, the shape of his eyebrows and brow bone, the squared jaw yet soft rounded chin, the fabulous set of teeth?! Come on! They both look like what they say they are, one more so than the other. And now consider the fact that it’s American Indians who have to prove what they are – even to each other – before they will be accepted as such! Subjectivities skew all over the place in relation to cultural and racial identities in America, yet Depp has never skewed from his. Not to mention he has never altered his narrative, great grandma Minnie was a full blood Cherokee or so he has said. I’ve met so many people claim to be Cherokee on a great grandparent’s side and never have they named that great grandparent! Hell most of us barely remember our grandparent’s names, let alone a great grandparent!

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“But, what about my great grandma Minnie?”

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“Stop your lyin’ white man! There is no Minnie”

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But does any of this information qualify Depp as an Indian - Cherokee - to be precise? Do physiognomy and a name from his family history suffice? If not what does, tribal enrollment? Literally becoming a card member based on minuscule blood quantum? A real mind fuck of a question is, if the Eastern Band Cherokee can't find Minnie on their roll does that mean she never existed? Could Depp have made up the great grandmother story to salve some internal identity crisis externalized by his hatchet sharp cheekbones, almond eyes and cupid bow mouth? Possibly, but why would he? Why would he want to be an Indian anyway? Why does anyone want to be an Indian?

It's a far out line of questioning because it makes you ponder your own racial/cultural narrative, or lack thereof if you're a genero-white person who doesn't give two shits about that sort of thing because you're white, and we all know what that means otherwise people on the other blogs wouldn't be bitching that Depp is too white to play Tonto, cause you know, it's unfair that white people get to play all sorts of things they are not while the rest of us have to be our colorful othered selves. But, too white to play Tonto, Tonto? Mmm-hmm, I see. We are discussing Tonto, of the Lone Ranger fame? A character only barely a step up from Stepin' Fetchin' and people are pissed some 100% Actual Indian actor didn’t get the part – assuming there was ever an audition? Uh huh, yes I see, and what 100% Actual Indian actor would do a better job of acting in this “role”? I mean, aside from looking more “authentically Indian” than Depp and assuming they have the mass appeal (I didn’t say skill…) that Depp has especially for a Bruckheimer piece of crap film?

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A ridiculous list was suggested on Newspaper Rock by one of their many commentors (we have no commentors here. HA!). Let’s assume, for shits and giggles, we have a say in the casting of this role and since this role doesn’t require much skill  (assuming Depp is provided the opportunity to creatively re-interpret Tonto for a new millennium in which case that would require some skill) my vote is for Adam Beach! No contemporary Indian actor turns out a consistently wooden performance like Beach does! And no Indian in cinematic history was more woodenly than Jay Silverheel’s Tonto. If wood is required Adam Beach can deliver!

As for the other Native actors suggested: Gary Farmer is too damn fine an actor to even consider something so ridiculous, not to mention he is too old and big! Nathan Chasing Horse?! Ugh! He can’t act his way out of a sopping wet paper bag and he’s too tall. Eddie Spears is too tall and too young; Steve Reevis is too old and too short. Nathan Arcand has already been there, done that, but I’m sure he’d like another crack, but that will never happen because he looks too Asian (LOL).

No, my vote, if I had one (which none of us do), is for Adam Beach – the most easily digestible, consistently boring, marketable Indian actor not really working today.

In conclusion: if Indians, and friends of Indians, really wanted to protest this film they could – by writing letters to the production company, forwarding vicious, but smartly pointed blogs and news stories deriding the actual making of this film (I think we can agree that it shouldn’t be made at all), and by shaming Johnny Depp into refusing the role. He’s a sensitive guy after all. He would probably drink himself silly and cry if he knew his fellow Indians were up in arms about him not being Indian enough to play a stereotypical Indian in a dumb ass film version of a dumb ass television show most of us are too young to remember ever existing save for people bitching about it on forums and blogs.

Mofongo, con carne frita: Your ass just got fat!

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Mah gootness, I am having way too much fun being unemployed in New York City!

I was stressing out about finances but now realize the vast potential of sitting on my ass reading other people’s blogs all day because then I can comment on them here on Longviews. As stated elsewhere we have decided to play linksies, the blogosphere’s version of footsies, with Newspaper Rock – a subsidiary of Rob Schmidt’s long standing Blue Corn Comics website. Evidently that guy has plenty of time to comb the ‘Net for any ole thing related to Indians and their crossing of culture shananigans.

Being that I am Boricua I found this news item of particular interest Oneida/Puerto Rican Restaurant

Seems Tamar Cornelius, Oneida, had her a nice little vacay en el Isla del Encanto and got all encantada with the mofongo. She’s also engaged to a Papì Chulo who has the same last name as me! OMG, OMG, OMG could we be related?! If so, would I get a discount on the roast pork cracklings with famed P.R. delicacy – mayonaise and Thousand Island Dressing dipping sauce?! Chances are pretty slim ’cause Puerto Ricans are notoriously stingy and even worse restaurant owners!

Actually I am shocked to hear anyone not visiting the island due to family obligations say they enjoyed the local cuisine. Surely she must have got a taste of home cooking from her fiance’s abuelita’s crib ’cause I know from experience if she went to a restaurant they damn sure didn’t serve her anything that miraculous. Moreover, they probably took her plate away, half full insisting her ass was done, and to pay up and jet ’cause the waitstaff got better things to do than serve paying customers. Like, yo, stand around waiting for more customers to not pay attention to and/or rush them out of the restuarant but also insisting on a good tip. You can see I have had some bitter experiences, can’t you?

Try and rush me…got food still on the fork, mid-bite, carajo!

Tamar goes on to relate how her benign tribe helped her out with a loan so she could bring some flavor to an otherwise flavorless Green Bay Wisconsin. I have been to Green Bay, yo…trust me…flavorless. Anyway, I was doubly shocked to read that shizz ’cause ery’body knows you do not lend money to Puerto Ricans, and since she’s about to hitch up with one, that counts her in. I mean, fo real, you will see that cheddar go up in a firey liquid not unlike flambed’ bananas of the plantain variety, muy maduro, you can bet! But damn, it makes me sad cause like after I read that bit I was like, “Damn, see? That’s why the Indians got shafted by the man?! They are too damn trusting and/or they like to gamble too damn much!”

‘Cause seriously, a Puerto Rican restaurant run by an Oneida Indian is like a bingo hall run by a Pakistani, it ain’t gonna amount to much.  No wait, yeah if the Pakistani ran the bingo hall it would make a profit. Scratch that! If the bingo hall was run by a Puerto Rican it damn straight wouldn’t net a dime, but the place would be bouncin’ with the rum flowin’ and the dice rollin’ and the booty girls with big hoop earrings bouncin’ to J Lo screamin’ “Por dios, caray, I said muthafuckin’ Jota Siete.” And then someone would go berserk throwing over the long banquette table shrieking, “Bizz-Ningo Biotches!”

The shit would be off the chain, yo, but make money? Fuck nah, but it’d be hella fun for a month or two.

Another thing Ms. Oneida mentioned was a “surprisingly strong Oneida/Puerto Rican connection.” Seriously?

What might this “surprisingly strong” connection be other than a love of deep fried pork chops, in Lard no less, and salty pork roast? In fact, Puerto Ricans have a near pathological (surprisingly strong?) love of pork. So this might be what she’s talking about cause damn the Ricans love some pork! On the other hand, Puerto Rican men are known to be saavy (but swift) lovers, gettin’ all initmated with every nook and cranny of a woman’s frame. To prove it Ms. Oneida already gave birth to her first mini J Lo! See? Swift, yo!

Whatever the case may be their little casita de cosina quisqueya saw a boom in business within a week of being open. Good for them! However that was back in late September when this news item first appeared. It’s December and we’re in the middle of an economic crisis. I’m feeling skeptical about their financial prospects right about now. I mean, it’s hard times everywhere and Green Bay is kinda vanilla, if you know what I mean. People there may not readily turn to an extra large order of mofongo in a time of crisis, not like they would here in my neighborhood, but you never know? Maybe that surprisingly strong connection Tamar feels exists between Oneida people and Boricuas is a mutual love of greasy comfort food and ferocious family bonds, especially in dire straits. Let’s hope, at this time of year, they are getting extra helpings of both.

Incidentally, who is Indian and who is not is always a topic of debate at Newspaper Rock. I wonder what they’d say about Tamar’s baby girl, Galilea? Is she Indian or Puerto Rican? Will it depend on what she looks like when she gets older? Boricuas tend to be swarthy and dark skinned, you know, with some kinky hairs!  Will it depend on what she looks like or whether she qualifies by blood to enroll in her mother’s tribe? Or will it depend on how she views herself within both cultures? If so, does she then have to choose one or the other? If not than how will both co-exist within her own subjective narrative? On the other hand what if she doesn’t want them to co-exist? What if she rejects her Indianness opting to identify solely as a Puerto Rican?

My god, I hope she doesn’t do that! Ain’t no good financial aid benefits for Puerto Ricans. She better stick to being Indian. It’s a hella lot better financial and cultural choice!

Malcolm Jamal Warner(?):” the acting’s been rough since The Cosby’s  went off air!”

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NAICA online's managing editor/designer and contributor to sarcastacademic blogging, Renee Gick, found this bon mot blog over on GraphJam, a music and culture blog “for people who love charts.”

 What Kids Learn About Native Americans

My god some of the comments are priceless! We do love some ironizing sarcasm from the cyber peanut gallery

Self Portrait, Fritz Scholder, NMAI NYC.

Our friend at Newspaper Rock found a review of this two part exhibition curated for both locations – NYC and D.C. – in the Washington Post. While reporter Phillip  Kennicott raises some interesting points about Scholder’s Indian paintings I think he unfairly dismissed poignant aspects of Scholder’s “New York” work which was decidedly “non Indian,” but Indian in that Scholder was undeniably an Indian. I have only seen the exhibition here in New York, which also features the video documentary mentioned in the Post article, that focuses on his 80s and 90s works. These included large abstract self portraits, creepy bronze statues of partly human/partly demon figures and paintings of some rather frightening looking women. It is these images I am most drawn to because they belie a fearful self loathing that is emotionally grasping. Almost embarrassing in their open expression of a desire to be desired yet also rejecting in a hyper-conscious analytically distant way.

Kennicott  labeled these works “empty and incompetent,” as if Scholder had “spent himself” as an artist. Yet at the same time he points to the double (maybe triple) bind of making art as an Indian that is not Indian art yet being an Indian who rejected his Indian identity perhaps made him a better conduit for creating stereotype shattering images of Indians. Frankly I think his criticisms are a tad thin, maybe even racist, in that he laments the fact Indian artists who make Indian art are inevitably stuck in that rut yet when Scholder broke from making “Indian art” his work was dismissed, derided by Kennicott himself as “infantile in execution.”

From the Native Wire: Newspaper Rock: What the Fuck Peru?!

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

We’re branching out to bring more newsy items and pop commentary by lifting (err linking) to Newspaper Rock – a blog maintained by Rob Schmidt – creator of Blue Corn Comics. He’s always got an interesting angle on the goings-on in Indian Country, including that one to the South of us. I found this story HILARIOUS!

Cameron Diaz, revoluntionary

   

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